Working hard!!! (for real this time)

This is my second week of work, and last weekend I was on call. Everyone has been asking how it is going. It's an adjustment. I am learning where everything is, getting used to different equipment, the staff is getting used to me and the way I do things, and that all makes for a very slow surgeon. And it's frustrating. I know it will all get better with time, but when you are used to being very efficient and organized and then start over, it can be very overwhelming and frustrating.
The other difficult thing is the thing I have been waiting on for the last 5 years--being on my own!!! In some situations, I have been wanting to be left alone to make my own decisions and be autonomous, but in other situations I am very insecure about my decisions and worry about patients a lot. Jared will be happy that I am focusing my worry somewhere else for once. And it's not like I didn't worry about patients when I was a resident, but it was different--they weren't really my patients. They belonged to the attendings and I just got to participate in their care. Overall, I am enjoying it, but there is a lot of anxiety involved in this transition.